needs: Relief and Specialist Teachers
There are so many reasons why she melts down in my car after school. Sure, some of them reside in the heavy house of resilience and some meltdowns shack up in the world of normal primary school social glitches. The ones that shit me are the meltdowns caused by an adult who could have known better. It’s a gut punch for me and I feel hostility rise as the ten minutes of re-telling through tears stumble from her lips to my ears. From the driver’s seat mirror, I see she is a mess and he is frustrated. He is angry for her and there are days where he is just angry because he is sick of after school car drama.
She is battling snot, an inconsiderate seat belt and the school bag that never fits where she wants to put it and she never puts it where it does. It’s a lot to navigate when your little heart is frayed. I am navigating 30 odd family cars out of a shoe box car park and waving hello with an “it’s alright smile”. Some of the other cars are playing out their own meltdown scenarios right now, waving “it’s alright to me in return”. The picture is forming and I am taking deep breaths. It’s not her fault so don’t be mad at her. It’s not his fault, so don’t be mad at him. As she wanders to the point, I am angry. It’s clear. It’s an adult’s fault and could have been avoided.
The PE teacher, always the PE teacher, shouted. She was playing Tee Ball, and the ball came, but she didn’t see the ball, it was just there and then it wasn’t. The PE teacher shouted at the rude girl not paying attention. Everyone was shouted. Then she woke up to find everyone shouting. She cried and was told to go and wash her face.
The art teacher, always the art teacher, shouted. She wasn’t listening to the instructions. She was looking out the window. The teacher shouted at the rude girl not paying attention. She lost time and when she came back everyone laughed. She cried and was told to go and wash her face.
The emergency teacher, always the emergency teacher snapped more as the day wore on. She didn’t pay attention, wasn’t listening, was the last to be ready… She recalls their words, their tone, their pitch in the retelling. Those words mark her. By the end of a paper cuts day, she cried and was told to go and wash her face.
A small aside, washing your face is not a medical, educational or behavioural balm that cures neuro diversity. So, she sits in our car messing up her ever so clean face with a retelling that leaves her blotchy but relieved. I know she is seeking me out in the rear-view mirror. Checking and hedging the balance between her debrief and my rippling anger.
It shouldn’t happen. We have reports. The school has the reports. They should have read the reports about her diagnosis. Sometimes I spray some colourful vivid images across the car windshield almost scarring them with my rage. Not my best moments. Sometimes, I breathe out how pissed I am, pause and look to them both, and know I need to lean in, and listen with all my love and get some kind of car dance party underway. The tug of war between both responses is heavy.
It is always the teacher that doesn’t have her all the time. It’s always the teacher that doesn’t have the time….it is always the teacher that isn’t given the time to have the means to meet her needs.
means: Helping teachers to know about your kids
Teachers are fucking awesome. Teachers are teaching. Teachers are busy. Teachers look after a lot of kids. The best thing for a kid, a teacher and a parent is to find ways to help Teachers.
The class teacher cannot be the only person who knows about your kid’s needs. The class teacher doesn’t take them for art or music or language or incursions or excursions.
The class teacher may not always be there.
Medical/Allied Health reports and assessments are cumbersome and may be read by anyone other than the class teacher.
Relief teacher days and specialist teacher activities can be a break from school work. If those teachers have the needs covered, your kid can enjoy the activities.
A one-page student profile can be read at a glance and brings the child’s needs out front for the day.
Draft and decorate the profile with your kid. This begins their ownership of their needs, and being able to advocate for themselves.
Provide it to the school with instructions about its purpose. This is not a complaint. This is a solution.
Give it to the regular specialist teachers.
Have a laminated copy in your kid’s bag. Skill them up to pass it on to teachers.
Diarise to update the profile if medication, diagnosis, or anything changes.
