Medical

needs: Ode to our Favourite Gatekeeper.

Dear Daisy,

I hope you are enjoying your retirement. Our little family misses you, and I dare say Dr Neuro is missing you more each day. We never had a chance to say good-bye. Only an email to say he would try to navigate the world without you.

I remember you called me to confirm the first appointment and gently nudge us towards the simplest parking and suggested reverently that it was not unusual for Dr Neuro to run late. You warmly said there was no need for panic if traffic thwarted us. The first day we met, your actions cushioned our stumbles. That day, you had the first of many waiting room playdates with my girl while we got answers we didn’t want, to questions we didn’t know we had. You cared for the object of our love so we could talk about all the unsaid things that would forever change our lives. You knew to write down the appointments, contact details and test names. You gently repeated the information that slid off the edge of my mind as it reeled with revelations about the girl I made from scratch. You were everything that day.

Later, we slipped into a happy routine, of making appointments for my girl at the beginning of the day because you said she would be at her best then. You reminded us when a new referral was needed so we could claim it back, always reminding me that “every bit helps”, and it did.

You put my emails under his nose. You took my tear-soaked calls from the hospital the day she broke her neck and the day her school needed guidance. You edged me towards the questions so Dr Neuro could give us the means to help her needs.

Thank you for all the time you spent chatting with my boy, Grandma or Pop while they waited. You always made our family members welcome as they breached your work space and we gleaned our course for the next 3/6/9/12 months.

Thank you, for always remembering her name and her wonders while we shuffled the papers that leaked more sinister things. Thank you for finding ways to accommodate her life within his schedule, for seeing the merit in an excursion or assembly. You found a way to fit him into her life, as you fit us into his.

You were with us for 7 years of calls, emails and minutes before and after appointments. Your kind and gentle ways made those days a hundred times better and a thousand times more effortless than they could have been. Somehow you managed to grow us and nurture us into being the special needs parents we needed to become.

So, Daisy thank you, and bless you and we hope you are happy and cared for and loved because you were there for us and continue to be whenever we book or call or have an appointment.

means: Getting to know your gatekeeper.

These women, they are all women, keep my world turning. They keep the gate to the specialist, therapist, test or assessment. Gatekeepers are schedulers. Whenever we catch a lucky break it usually comes from a gatekeeper. Gatekeepers are the human face of the Australian healthcare system. They are the only step in the chain between suffering and treatment that applies common sense and compassion. Gatekeepers gently push back the chorus of parents jostling for an appointment, scan or test. Gatekeepers assess things quickly over the phone or by fax and determine who gets to see who and when. I have shame for the years spent fighting with gatekeepers, thinking if I was more persistent it would result in whatever she needed. Now I ask for help. “Help will always be given at Hogwarts, for those who ask for it.”

Getting to know your gatekeeper.

Have your gatekeeper spiel. I need an appointment for my daughter as soon as possible. What do you need from me? They are busy, so get to the point.
Work out the best time to call ,and the best mode of communication. I don’t bother with emails to someone who doesn’t read them – ask when it is a good time to call.
Take a second to get to know them – books, music children or grandchildren. Anything that can help you find something personal when the time comes to show gratitude, or to draw a connection when you need assistance. It will come.
If you are taking a coffee into the waiting room, it takes 2 seconds to call and see if she wants one. A small kindness can make a big difference.
Remember her birthday. If you only see her every 6 months – take flowers.
Make sure she gets positive feedback, if she works in a hospital then make sure that feedback is formal. It has an impact on her review, and takes so little time.
Get your kids to bake/make for your gatekeeper. Friendship bands, loom bands, a picture, a story. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude….

needs: Hot mess of medical contact details

There are days where I wish I had Blair Waldorf super powers when it comes to managing all the contact details for everyone on Team Ladybird, but in reality, I am more like a Serena VDW hot mess with it. I love Serena but she survives her life rather than thriving in it. When it comes to medical contacts, I don’t need the drama, I need Dorota!

That moment in the GP’s office when she needs to write the referral for the neuro review that is coming up and she asks to confirm the contact details. I am dumpster diving in my bag for an old business card. That moment when the Physio wants to run something by the Ortho and looks to me for the number and I am scrolling for a contact listed as “Good Ortho that looks like Dumbledore”. That moment when you are at school and need to fill out the late camp form and for some reason it requires treating GP details and I am cracking the google vortex. These are just pinpricks. But they are pin pricking me and constantly suggesting I don’t have this shit sorted for my girl and, well, that’s because I was a hot mess with the contacts.

I get that I am letting this matter. I have tried not letting it matter, but having my shit together with medical contacts matters to me. There are a lot of people in our life who need information and I am the nexus for that information. I need them to have what they need so they can help her. The quicker they have it, the more accurate it is, the more likely the document they are producing gets to where it needs to go as quick as I need it to get there. If I focus on the goal – helping her – and they are doing that, then I really should have whatever they need at the ready.

Surely this is simple? The thing is all the details from our medical contacts were gleaned from old school business cards, reporting letters, referral letters with out of date addresses but no phone numbers, faxes but no emails and random health search engines. What I had was Serena’s closet floor the morning after the Constance ball, when what I needed was Blair’s Louboutins; alphabetised, sorted by year and genre. XOXO

means: The easy fix to managing medical contact details.

This is down and dirty; it might not be perfect but it is a results-based solution. I needed to have the contacts at the ready and to feel better about this. I quit expecting myself to get to stellar 5^th Ave office administration and went for a Brooklyn fast fix it.

To minimise wear and tear on my girl, disruption and expense I keep her team at 6. I run it on a night club rotation. If a practitioner suggests she needs a review with someone new, we drop one. One in and One out. No minions. Just the A-list.
I have the awesome secret power of the Kmart kick-ass mini compendium. Get it. You know you want to.
I take business cards. I take lots, more than Chuck Bass gives out. I keep them in my Kmart kick-ass. If someone needs details, I card them.
In the Kmart kick-ass is a note pad (yes! they have cheap refills). I make my notes there.
I photo each card and keep it in a folder in photos. I will not always get around to updating contacts but this I can do while paying the bill.
I always ask for reporting letters, referrals and test requests to be scanned and emailed to me. This is where having a good relationship with your gatekeeper is important.